Contact me in Adelaide.

FAQ

Where are you located?

My office is located at 285 Flinders Street, Adelaide 5000. Plenty of 2 hour parking is nearby.

What do you charge?

All pricing information and my next available times are available on my booking system: Booking system. You can look without having to book.

How do we book a time to see you?

Register an account on my booking system: Booking system. Select the first ‘Couples - Initial 2 hour session’ that is available and that suits you.

How soon can we see you?

I regularly book out up to 3-4 weeks in advance however due to cancellations I will always try to see you sooner than your booked appointment.

How long does it take for couples counselling to work?

The timeline depends on what you're working on. Some couples experience breakthroughs in the initial 2-hour session, while others with complex trauma or infidelity may need 20+ sessions. Research indicates the average couple needs 12 sessions to achieve their goals. Common timelines in my Adelaide practice:
- Communication issues: 6-8 sessions
- Rebuilding trust: 12-16 sessions
- Infidelity recovery: 15-20+ sessions
- Premarital preparation: 4-6 sessions
Many couples feel hopeful after just one session once they understand their patterns. The Gottman Method research shows that learning specific skills early creates lasting change.

Is this covered by Medicare or Mental Health Care plans?

Psychotherapy is not covered by Medicare or Mental Health Care plans but I would encourage you to try it as we tend to get to the heart of the matter quicker than the other professions. This will save you money.

How do we start?

Book a time here: Booking

Does couples counselling actually work?

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, couples therapy is effective for 70-80% of couples who complete treatment. Success depends on several factors including how early couples seek help, both partners' willingness to engage, and the severity of issues. Most couples notice improvement within 6-10 sessions, though complex issues like infidelity recovery typically take longer. The Gottman Institute's research demonstrates that couples who learn specific communication skills in therapy maintain relationship satisfaction years later. In my Adelaide practice, I've seen couples transform relationships that seemed hopeless—the key is addressing problems before resentment becomes entrenched. Early intervention dramatically improves outcomes.

Can couples counselling save a marriage on the brink of divorce?

Research by Dr. John Gottman shows that couples wait an average of six years after problems begin before seeking help—often waiting until they're in crisis. However, even marriages that seem hopeless can improve if both partners are willing to engage honestly. Success factors include: - Both partners attend with genuine curiosity - Willingness to examine your own contributions - Addressing issues before "emotional divorce" has occurred - Learning to fight fairly rather than avoiding conflict In my Adelaide practice, I've helped many couples step back from divorce proceedings after learning to understand each other's attachment needs and break destructive communication patterns. That said, therapy isn't magic—it requires both people to do the work between sessions.

What happens in the first couples counselling session?

I structure first sessions to give us adequate time without feeling rushed. Here's the typical flow: First 30 minutes: I meet with you together to understand what brought you in and what you're hoping for. Middle hour: I meet with each partner individually for 15-20 minutes. This allows honest sharing about concerns you might not raise in front of your partner. Final 30 minutes: We reconvene to discuss what I've heard, identify patterns I'm noticing, and create a preliminary plan. Many couples feel relief after the first session—simply having a neutral space to be heard makes a difference. The 2-hour format lets us go deeper than standard 50-minute sessions, and most couples report feeling they've gained clarity by the end.

Do both partners have to attend couples counselling?

Ideally both partners attend because relationship patterns involve both people. However, if your partner refuses or is ambivalent, you can still make significant progress individually. When one person changes how they respond to patterns, the entire system shifts. I often see initially reluctant partners become more willing once they see their partner gaining insight and making changes. Starting individual relationship-focused therapy can be the first step. That said, if you're both committed to working on the relationship, couples therapy accelerates progress because we can address patterns as they emerge in real-time.

How do I convince my partner to try couples therapy?"

Resistant partners often fear therapy will be one-sided criticism or their partner's "ally against them." Address these fears directly: Instead of: "We need therapy because you never listen." Try: "I want to understand what's happening between us. I'm struggling too and think a neutral person could help us both feel heard." Offer the initial consultation as an experiment: "Let's try one session and see if it feels useful." Share that therapy focuses on patterns, not blame. I tell couples: "I'm not here to take sides—I'm here to help you both get what you want from this relationship." Some partners respond to data: "Research shows 70-80% of couples improve with therapy—even when things feel stuck."

Can couples counselling help after an affair?

Affair recovery is one of my primary specializations. Research shows that approximately 60-75% of couples who commit to therapy after infidelity choose to stay together and rebuild. Recovery requires: - The partner who had the affair taking full responsibility - Complete transparency and rebuilding trust incrementally - Processing the betrayed partner's pain without defensiveness - Understanding what made the relationship vulnerable - Creating a new relationship with different agreements This isn't quick work—most couples need 6-12 months of regular therapy. But I've seen many couples emerge with deeper intimacy than they had before the affair, having learned to communicate honestly for the first time. Not all affairs are the same, and recovery paths differ. Some couples heal relatively quickly; others discover underlying issues that require longer exploration.

What's the difference between couples counselling and marriage therapy?"

You'll see these terms used interchangeably. Some therapists prefer "couples counselling" because it's inclusive of unmarried partnerships, while "marriage therapy" specifically refers to married couples. The approaches, techniques, and goals are identical. In Adelaide, most practitioners (myself included) use "couples counselling" as the primary term but work with both married and unmarried partners. What matters more than terminology is finding a therapist trained in evidence-based approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or the Gottman Method. Some people also ask about "relationship counselling"—this term is broader and might include family relationships or friendships, whereas couples/marriage therapy specifically focuses on romantic partnerships.

Is online couples counselling as effective as in-person?

Studies conducted during COVID-19 confirmed what therapists suspected—video therapy produces equivalent outcomes to in-person work. The key factors for success (willingness to engage, therapist skill, communication practice) translate fully to online formats. Advantages of online therapy: - Scheduling flexibility - No travel time - Comfort of your own space - Easier for couples with mobility issues Advantages of in-person therapy: - Fewer distractions - Clearer non-verbal communication - Physical boundary from daily life - Some people focus better in a dedicated space At my Adelaide practice, I offer both options. Many couples do a hybrid—starting in-person to establish connection, then shifting to video for convenience. The "best" format depends on your preferences and situation.

Why isn't couples counselling covered by Medicare?

This is a common frustration. Medicare's Mental Health Care Plan covers individual psychological treatment for diagnosed mental health conditions (depression, anxiety, etc.). It doesn't cover couples or relationship therapy because: 1. Relationship difficulties aren't classified as "mental disorders" 2. Medicare requires a GP treatment plan for individual diagnoses 3. Psychotherapy (deeper relational work) operates differently from cognitive-behavioral approaches Medicare funds While this means out-of-pocket costs, psychotherapy often reaches the root of relationship patterns faster than structured CBT approaches. Many couples find that 6-10 psychotherapy sessions create more lasting change than months of individually focused work.

Is couples counselling tax deductible in Australia?

Unfortunately, relationship therapy is considered a personal expense rather than a medical expense for tax purposes. However, there are some exceptions: - If therapy is part of treatment for PTSD, depression, or another diagnosed condition, you might claim it as a medical expense (consult your accountant) - Self-employed people sometimes claim it as a business expense if relationship issues directly impact their business (rare and requires specific circumstances) While the cost isn't deductible, many couples find it more cost-effective than ongoing conflict, legal fees, or divorce proceedings. Investing $2,000-3,000 in therapy often prevents far larger financial and emotional costs down the road.

Is couples counselling tax deductible in Australia?

Unfortunately, relationship therapy is considered a personal expense rather than a medical expense for tax purposes. However, there are some exceptions: - If therapy is part of treatment for PTSD, depression, or another diagnosed condition, you might claim it as a medical expense (consult your accountant) - Self-employed people sometimes claim it as a business expense if relationship issues directly impact their business (rare and requires specific circumstances) While the cost isn't deductible, many couples find it more cost-effective than ongoing conflict, legal fees, or divorce proceedings. Investing $2,000-3,000 in therapy often prevents far larger financial and emotional costs down the road.

When is it too late for couples counselling?

Dr. John Gottman's research identifies four patterns that predict relationship failure: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (the "Four Horsemen"). When these patterns dominate and partners have reached "emotional divorce"—feeling indifferent rather than hurt—change becomes extremely difficult. However, many couples arrive at therapy believing it's "too late" only to find hope once patterns become clear. The critical factor isn't how bad things are, but whether both people are willing to try. It might be too late if: - One or both partners have definitively decided to leave - Contempt has replaced all positive feelings - Neither person can imagine feeling differently Couples should seek help when they notice chronic resentment building, repeating the same fights, or feeling like roommates rather than partners. The earlier you come, the faster patterns shift. In my experience, if you're still asking "Is it too late?" there's likely still something worth working with.

What if we've tried couples counselling before and it didn't work?

There are many reasons prior therapy might not have helped: - Poor therapist-fit (not all therapists work well with every couple) - Timing issues (seeking help during crisis vs. ongoing work) - Approach mismatch (some methods work better for certain issues) - Insufficient session frequency or duration - One partner not fully engaged Many couples benefit from trying a different therapist with a different approach. For example, if you tried solution-focused work but needed deeper attachment healing, Emotionally Focused Therapy might be more effective. Also consider: What's changed since last time? Are both partners more ready now? Do you have clearer goals? Sometimes couples need a break from therapy before returning with renewed motivation. I'm happy to discuss what didn't work previously so we can take a different approach from the start.

Should we try couples counselling before separating?

Couples considering separation benefit from therapy in two ways: If you stay together: - Therapy helps you address the patterns that pushed you to the edge - You'll have learned skills to prevent future crises - You'll know you tried everything before making a final decision If you separate: - Therapy creates a healthier separation process - You'll co-parent more effectively if you have children - You'll understand your patterns, preventing repetition in future relationships - "Discernment counselling" specifically helps couples decide whether to work on the marriage or separate Many couples arrive at therapy as a "last attempt" and find that understanding their patterns creates unexpected hope. Others gain clarity that separation is the right choice—but do so with less bitterness and better tools for moving forward. Either way, therapy before separating is almost never time wasted.

How do I choose a couples counsellor in Adelaide?"

Not all therapists do couples work well—it requires specialized training beyond a psychology or counselling degree. When choosing an Adelaide couples counsellor, consider: Training in evidence-based methods: - Gottman Method (research-backed approach for communication and conflict) - Emotionally Focused Therapy (attachment-based healing) - Imago Relationship Therapy (pattern recognition) Specialization areas: - If you're dealing with infidelity, choose someone who specializes in affair recovery - Communication issues vs. trauma vs. sexual intimacy require different expertise Practical factors: - Location (CBD vs. suburbs—I have offices at 285 Flinders Street and North Adelaide) - Availability (evening appointments? Saturdays?) - Session length (50-minute vs. 90-minute vs. my 2-hour initial sessions) - Cost and payment options Read therapist websites carefully—do they articulate a clear approach or just list generic services? Trust your gut when you meet them: the therapeutic relationship matters as much as credentials. Adelaide has excellent couples therapists across different approaches. Finding the right fit might take meeting 2-3 before you find "your person."