How Heartbroken Should You Be When Your Partner Cheats On You?
Introduction
Heartbreak isn't just for the young. Whether it's the first time or the tenth, finding out that your partner has cheated on you can feel devastating and lead to a long list of questions. How do you cope when your partner cheats on you? What are the best ways to help yourself through this situation?
How do you cope when your partner cheats on you?
When a partner cheats on you, it can be a devastating experience. Not only is it emotionally painful but it can also have physical, financial and social repercussions. Here are some tips to help you cope:
Emotional pain: Cling to your friends as much as you can during this time. If they don't know what happened yet, don't tell them until after the breakup because they may stop talking to your ex-partner or give them bad advice. If they do already know what happened but feel like they should comfort their friend anyway, just let them know that hearing those words will only make things worse right now and then change the subject back to something more positive (like how great of a person he/she is).
Physical pain: After breaking up with someone who cheated on me once before (and I did nothing wrong), I had terrible pain in my abdomen every day for almost two weeks which turned out to be an appendectomy due t
Separate fact from fiction.
Separate fact from fiction
The best thing you can do is separate the facts of what happened from your emotions about it. This means not going on social media and reading all the reactions you’re getting (or not getting) for posting about your heartbreak. It also means not making excuses for your partner or letting them off easy by thinking “they didn’t mean it,” or “it was only one time/a mistake”—as tempting as it might be, because these are ways to avoid facing what actually happened.
It also means not allowing yourself to get sucked into an endless cycle of negative thoughts about yourself: maybe if I had been better at sex, or thinner…maybe if we had more money then he wouldn't have wanted this other woman...maybe if we lived somewhere else he wouldn't have looked at anyone else....etcetera etcetera ad nauseum.
Take care of yourself.
As a result of the trauma and pain you have experienced, you will be tempted to focus on your partner’s betrayal. However, this is not in your best interest. You need to focus on taking care of yourself so that you can heal and move forward.
Take care of your physical health: Your body has been through a lot; take time out for yourself by going on walks or runs during which you don’t allow negative thoughts to enter your mind. Try not to let the situation impact other areas of your life as well—don’t let it affect your sleep, diet or exercise routine as this can lead to further complications in the future.
Don’t let it affect work or school performance: If possible, avoid going through any challenging situations at work due to lack of sleep because of all the crying spells over something that happened months ago and cannot be changed now anyway!
Face the situation with your partner.
When you're trying to figure out how heartbroken you should be, it can be helpful to first talk about the situation with your partner. Keep in mind that talking about cheating with your partner is more than just a conversation; it is also an opportunity for them to take responsibility for their actions and a chance for both of you to decide what your next steps will be.
Don’t blame them. If they cheated on you, they probably feel bad enough without hearing that they did something wrong. Instead of blaming them or making accusations, ask them questions like "Why did this happen?" or "How could I have prevented it?", which will help open up an honest dialogue between the two of you so that neither party feels attacked or condemned by the other's words.* Don't threaten leaving if things don't change soon (or ever). It may seem like good motivation at first glance but threatening to leave only puts additional pressure on both parties and makes any already tense situation even worse.* Don't get angry when talking about it either—this isn’t the time for yelling matches between partners who might not understand each other anyway due again because emotions are high (and possibly clouding judgment).
Set boundaries for yourself, and stick to them.
Set boundaries for yourself, and stick to them.
Boundaries are one of the most important tools you have when it comes to setting healthy boundaries with your partner. A boundary is something that you have a right to have, a limit that cannot be crossed without your permission. For example, if your partner doesn't respect your need for space and breaks up with you every time they see or hear from another person who attracts them (even when all this does is make them feel insecure about their relationship), it may be helpful for you to set a boundary that says, "I will not tolerate being broken up with in response to someone else's actions." This means that even if they do break up with you again because of someone else's actions—which will likely happen—you must take care not to react by doing anything drastic like calling off the wedding or moving into another room in the house while they're sleeping!
Instead of reacting in this way, try reminding yourself how much worse things would be if we were living together already: imagine how painful it would be if he lived across town instead of only down the hall! This kind of exercise helps put things back into perspective when our emotions get out of control.
Talk with a counselor or therapist.
A counselor or therapist is a good resource to help you process the situation and deal with the emotions that come along with infidelity. Talking to a professional will also allow you to talk about things without having to worry about what your partner thinks, which can be an important aspect of healing after an affair. A professional can provide guidance on how to move forward in your relationship and help you determine whether or not it's worth trying to repair the damage done by this betrayal.
Despite how you feel, there are steps that you can take to help yourself through this situation
Despite how you feel, there are steps that you can take to help yourself through this situation. You may find this list challenging and it will require patience and perseverance on your part.
You have no control over what your partner does or says. You can only control your own actions, so focus on those instead of trying to change other people's behavior or make them feel bad about themselves because of their choices.
Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, eating well-balanced meals, exercising regularly and limiting stress as much as possible—all things that will help boost your immune system during this stressful time in your life! Also consider seeking professional support from a therapist if needed (and safe).
Set boundaries for yourself: No matter how close we are with our partners, each individual has the right to set their own rules about what they allow themselves to accept from others without feeling guilty or ashamed for doing so!
Conclusion
If your partner is cheating, it can feel like your world has turned upside down. You may feel sad, angry, and confused at first. But don’t let your emotions take over and overwhelm you because they will only make things worse. Try to stay in control of yourself by taking care of yourself physically and mentally as much as possible during this difficult time. Although it may be difficult at first to take action toward healing from the betrayal of love, taking these steps will help put you on the path towards recovery so that eventually you can move past this stressful experience into a happier future!
