Why do people lie? Understanding lies in your relationship
Introduction
Lying is an important topic to discuss with your partner. It's normal and healthy to lie in a relationship, but there are certain kinds of lying that can be harmful to your relationship. By understanding why people lie in relationships, you can learn how to deal with it effectively so that it doesn't become a bigger issue.
It's important to address the underlying issues that cause lying in your relationship.
It's important to address the underlying issues that cause lying in your relationship.
Consider whether or not you feel safe with your partner, and if not, what could be done to make you feel safer?
Do you feel like you can fully trust them? If not, how can they earn back your trust?
People lie when they want to avoid conflict, not when they want to hurt you.
People lie when they want to avoid conflict, not when they want to hurt you.
People lie because they don't want to disappoint or let down their partner. They may have an issue with the truth that could cause a lot of pain and conflict in their relationship. For example, if your partner has been stealing from work for months but doesn't tell you about it until he gets caught by HR (and then only after being confronted), this could be an example of someone who is trying to protect himself from getting into trouble at work. He doesn't want his job so much that he would risk losing it by telling his wife about what happened; therefore, he lies about it instead.
Lying is a way to avoid the truth
Lying is a way to avoid the truth. We lie when we are afraid of what other people might think of us if they knew the truth, or if they did not like or accept us because of it. We also lie because we do not want to hurt someone's feelings by telling them an unpleasant truth; this can be particularly true in romantic relationships, where people often want their partner to think highly of them even if that means lying about something important (like infidelity).
In addition, lying allows us create our own reality--a place where everything goes smoothly and everyone gets along perfectly well without any conflict whatsoever; this kind of fantasy world is especially appealing when things aren't going well in real life! Finally, many times people will lie just so they don't have to deal with difficult conversations or situations: maybe there's something uncomfortable happening right now (like an argument) but since neither party wants things get worse between them right away...they simply avoid talking about whatever topic caused friction between these two individuals earlier on instead!
Lying is an indication of a deeper issue
Lying is not a symptom; it's a cause. It's not something that happens in response to an event or circumstance, but rather a choice made by the person who chooses to lie. In other words, lying is an act of avoidance.
In order to understand why someone might lie (and therefore whether your partner is lying), you need to look at what they're trying to avoid (or what they think they're avoiding) when they tell their lies:
Avoiding truth: Your partner may be trying not to hurt your feelings by telling you something that makes them feel bad about themselves or their actions--like being late because they were having drinks with friends instead of getting home on time like he promised he would do when he left work late again last night without giving any notice beforehand...or maybe even just because he didn't want any confrontation whatsoever!
Avoiding conflict: This could mean anything from "I don't want my mom mad at me again" (so I'll just say she loves my new haircut even though she hates it) all the way up through "I'm afraid if I say no then sex will stop happening altogether." Either way, there's still some fear involved here which means intimacy isn't exactly happening either!
Lying is a defense mechanism
Lying is a defense mechanism. When we lie, we're protecting ourselves from the truth. We may be trying to avoid conflict, responsibility or anger (or guilt). It's an attempt to protect our self-esteem by making others think well of us even if they don't deserve it--or when they do deserve it!
Lying also helps people feel better about themselves or their situation when things aren't going so well:
You're feeling fat? Lie about how great your body looks in that dress/suit/jeans!
You didn't get into college? Lie about how excited you are for school next year!
Your boyfriend cheated on you? Lie about how much this relationship means to him and how much he wants things between the two of you work out!
It's easier to lie than to be honest
It's easier to lie than it is to be honest. This is because honesty has consequences, and people are afraid of those consequences. They could include:
Getting in trouble with their partner or spouse
Having their partner or spouse get mad at them
Having their partner or spouse leave them
Relationship lies often tell the truth in ways that are uncomfortable to hear.
Lies can be used to avoid conflict. In a relationship, this often means that one person is trying to protect the other from something they think will hurt them. For example, if your partner has been working late at the office and you're worried about him or her cheating on you, it might be easier for them just to lie about where they were than for both of you to have an uncomfortable conversation about your suspicions.
Lies can be used as a way of protecting someone else's feelings by not telling them what's really going on in their life (and yours). This might happen when there's some kind of problem that needs solving but isn't urgent enough for immediate action--for instance, when one partner has been thinking about getting married but hasn't told his/her partner yet because he/she doesn't want him/her thinking there's pressure being applied; or when one spouse is having financial difficulties but doesn't want anyone else knowing because he/she fears being judged or criticized by friends and family members who don't understand why things aren't going well financially right now.*
Lies can reveal deeper truths about your relationship.
Lies can reveal deeper truths about your relationship. Lying is often a way of avoiding the truth, but it can also be a sign that there are deeper issues at play in your life and relationship. For example, if you're lying to avoid conflict or pressure from others, it might mean that you aren't comfortable expressing yourself openly with those around you. If someone feels unsafe in their own skin--whether due to past trauma or because they have been conditioned since childhood not to trust others--they may feel compelled to lie about what makes them happy or sad because they know others will disapprove of their feelings or behavior (and possibly punish them for expressing themselves).
Lies often result from an underlying issue in a person's life: lack of self-esteem; feeling overwhelmed by other people's needs; lack of confidence in one's abilities; etc. These issues aren't always easy for us as humans because we want everyone around us happy at all times! But this isn't possible unless everyone starts working together towards common goals instead of competing against each other over petty differences like race/ethnicity/gender identity etcetera...
It's important to talk openly with your partner about lying and keep trying until you find a way of communicating that works for both of you.
Talking about the lying is not the same as talking about the person who is lying. Instead, try to focus on what you are feeling and why. If you find it difficult to talk openly with your partner about this issue, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. It's likely that this problem will take time and patience on both sides before it can be resolved successfully.
Conclusion
We hope this article has helped you understand the reasons why people lie in their relationships. It's important to remember that lying is not always a bad thing--it can be a way for couples to connect and communicate with each other. But if lying becomes a regular part of your relationship, then it may be time for some honest conversations about what those lies mean and how they affect both partners' feelings about each other as well as their future together.
